Co--education or single-sex education? That is an almighty
question when choosing a school for your child. However, what are the key
factors that should steer you towards the right direction? Should you consider
academic performance, the character of your child, your family setup, the
quality of particular schools, family tradition or all of the above?
It has been noted in some studies that girls excel in girls
only schools as they do not have the problem of being distracted by the boys
and boys tend to perform better in co-ed schools as they have to work harder to
attain the same academic level as the girls – who generally – are more
academically advanced than boys of their age. On the other hand, other studies
have shown that there is not very much difference in the level of performance
of boys and girls in single sex or co-ed schools. So what do you as a parent,
do? Who do you listen to?
The answer is simple. You listen to yourselves as parents
who know your children best and look at them as individuals. I write this as a
parent who found herself in exactly that predicament. I am a mother of two. In
fact, my children are twins – a boy and a girl. We started their educational
path the simple way – find a good school, close by and register them both
together, in the same class and everyone was happy! Apart from the typical twin
related questions of them relying on each other, finding comfort in their own
company and being constantly compared to each other, there lay the question of
considering what was best for them as individuals. My little children were
growing up and I needed to find a prep school for them. I was surrounded by the
best of the crop in Surrey. I had some of the best co-ed and single sex schools
on my doorstep. However, I needed to look at my children as individuals. I had
to forget about how my husband and I were educated and what league tables were
telling us and who wrote what about which schools and what statistics. I had to
make a list of schools, visit one by one and make decisions based on what I
felt was suitable for my son and my daughter – not my twins but two individuals
with unique identities and futures ahead of them.
After many a sleepless night, my husband and I decided to
place our children in separate schools. Yes they are twins and yes that would
mean two massive journeys a day for me – yes it meant hours listening to the
radio dropping off and picking up every day. The drastic decisions did not stop
there. You see, my son is a lively, outgoing and confident young man. Almost
ten years ago when we were choosing a prep school for him, he was a playful boy
who needed a challenge, needed to be around boys as well as girls – not his
sister whom he would rely on and get comfort from. He needed his rugby and
football playing mates as much as he needed to play and chat with girls. That
is why a co-ed school was the best choice for him. My daughter on the other
hand, has always been the voice of wisdom. She is a motivated hard worker,
confident in her own skin and in the company of other young women. We saw her
all girls’ school when she was a mere six year old and saw she instantly felt
at home. She joined and ten years on, is still there. She grew up to be an
independent young woman and loves the company of her friends yet she mixes with
her brother’s friends and feels comfortable around them. Would we have made the
same decision had we had two boys or two girls? Possibly not.
It is vitally important to look at your child and make sure
your decision is backed up by the correct reasons. Make sure your child will
get the right balance of spending time with boys and girls, whether this may be
at school or at home. Look at their academic performance and try to assess
where they would thrive the most and most importantly, go visit schools and get
a feel for them. Try to base your decision on whether that school is the right
place for your child. Would it get the best achievement out of them? Would they
be happy and thrive there? Would they grow to be all-rounded individuals who
always achieve the best they can? Once you take all this into consideration,
the question of co-education or single-sex education becomes quite redundant.
Treat each school as a separate entity and give your children the tools to be
happy, confident individuals.
