UNIVERSITY LIFE BEGINS!

As parents, we spend our lives worrying about our children. From the moment they are born, they bring with them a bundle of decisions and choices which we have to make for them. We go on to spend hours and days worrying and wondering if we chose the correct paths for them – whether we are deciding on nurseries, schools or even playgroups. At a blink of an eye we find that our little bundles are now taller, louder and more confident than we ever were. They are taking major exams, learning to drive and choosing universities and undergraduate courses. We feel very proud and excited and start the search in the same way we did when trying to find the best school for them.....until we realise – hang on a minute! The decision is no longer ours to make! However, no matter how little or large our involvement in the university application process is, we do in fact have a vital role to play. What can we do to help without encroaching on their decisions? How can we equip ourselves in the best ways possible to assist them when needed?

The process for students to start thinking about their next steps after their school years starts pretty early. They are barely finishing their GCSEs and starting their A Levels when they are bombarded with information on how to choose courses, which universities to visit, student finance, and accommodation and so on.  Open days are advertised and most schools organise talks for students and parents as well as trips to university fairs. There is a wealth of information at hand and advisers within the schools are usually excellently equipped to provide all the assistance needed.

As all this research and mind searching is going on, our sons and daughters are expected to concentrate on their current studies and exams. They are under tremendous pressure from us, their parents, from their school teachers and heads and from their social surroundings and environments. They are suddenly on a bridge leaving the comfort of their childhood and about to step into a world where they have to lead the way and be responsible for their own decisions.

So, what can we as parents do to help?

On a practical level:

• ·         Stay calm! Listen to all suggestions, choices and decisions – no matter how far, how near the university choices are. Listen, digest then discuss rationally.
• ·         Start research early – higher education has a lot of options to choose from. Equip yourselves with as much knowledge as possible. The world of UCAS and application is a mind-field. Learn about student finance, the different options, accommodation choices, entry requirements and required grades.
• ·         Know the deadlines – make sure you are aware of all deadlines and that your children are working with their schools on their personal statements and their applications and have a sensible schedule.
• ·         Search for courses – something they would enjoy or be interested in.
• ·         Go to UCAS events and course provider open days 
• ·         Check entry requirements – make sure they are realistic and achievable.
• ·         Perfect your personal statement – get feedback and polish it as much as you can.
• ·         Understand student finance – research all options
• ·         Be prepared for results day and make sure you understand which steps you might need to take.
• ·         Understand what Extra and Clearing are and how they work – chances to apply to more courses.
• ·         Be there when your sons/daughters need you. You may feel that the decision making process has been taken away from you – and it probably has! Let them think and decide but also reassure them that you are right beside them and ready to contribute and listen.

·         These are times of change for students and possibly the first time that they have had to be the decision makers and the carvers of their own destiny. Encourage them, allow them their space to explore but always let them know that you are there. If you are equipped with information, then you are armed to assist them.

Useful links:

http://www.ucas.com/

http://www.thecompleteuniversityguide.co.uk/

https://www.studential.com/

http://www.universitiesuk.ac.uk/

http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/

http://university.which.co.uk/advice/university-parent-guide

Single-Sex or Co-Ed? That is the Question

Co--education or single-sex education? That is an almighty question when choosing a school for your child. However, what are the key factors that should steer you towards the right direction? Should you consider academic performance, the character of your child, your family setup, the quality of particular schools, family tradition or all of the above?

It has been noted in some studies that girls excel in girls only schools as they do not have the problem of being distracted by the boys and boys tend to perform better in co-ed schools as they have to work harder to attain the same academic level as the girls – who generally – are more academically advanced than boys of their age. On the other hand, other studies have shown that there is not very much difference in the level of performance of boys and girls in single sex or co-ed schools. So what do you as a parent, do? Who do you listen to?

The answer is simple. You listen to yourselves as parents who know your children best and look at them as individuals. I write this as a parent who found herself in exactly that predicament. I am a mother of two. In fact, my children are twins – a boy and a girl. We started their educational path the simple way – find a good school, close by and register them both together, in the same class and everyone was happy! Apart from the typical twin related questions of them relying on each other, finding comfort in their own company and being constantly compared to each other, there lay the question of considering what was best for them as individuals. My little children were growing up and I needed to find a prep school for them. I was surrounded by the best of the crop in Surrey. I had some of the best co-ed and single sex schools on my doorstep. However, I needed to look at my children as individuals. I had to forget about how my husband and I were educated and what league tables were telling us and who wrote what about which schools and what statistics. I had to make a list of schools, visit one by one and make decisions based on what I felt was suitable for my son and my daughter – not my twins but two individuals with unique identities and futures ahead of them.

After many a sleepless night, my husband and I decided to place our children in separate schools. Yes they are twins and yes that would mean two massive journeys a day for me – yes it meant hours listening to the radio dropping off and picking up every day. The drastic decisions did not stop there. You see, my son is a lively, outgoing and confident young man. Almost ten years ago when we were choosing a prep school for him, he was a playful boy who needed a challenge, needed to be around boys as well as girls – not his sister whom he would rely on and get comfort from. He needed his rugby and football playing mates as much as he needed to play and chat with girls. That is why a co-ed school was the best choice for him. My daughter on the other hand, has always been the voice of wisdom. She is a motivated hard worker, confident in her own skin and in the company of other young women. We saw her all girls’ school when she was a mere six year old and saw she instantly felt at home. She joined and ten years on, is still there. She grew up to be an independent young woman and loves the company of her friends yet she mixes with her brother’s friends and feels comfortable around them. Would we have made the same decision had we had two boys or two girls? Possibly not.

It is vitally important to look at your child and make sure your decision is backed up by the correct reasons. Make sure your child will get the right balance of spending time with boys and girls, whether this may be at school or at home. Look at their academic performance and try to assess where they would thrive the most and most importantly, go visit schools and get a feel for them. Try to base your decision on whether that school is the right place for your child. Would it get the best achievement out of them? Would they be happy and thrive there? Would they grow to be all-rounded individuals who always achieve the best they can? Once you take all this into consideration, the question of co-education or single-sex education becomes quite redundant. Treat each school as a separate entity and give your children the tools to be happy, confident individuals.